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\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\ for ZAK TRIBUTE SCROLL DOWN \/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/





contact us to be part of our street team /

invade your town/ home / fridge.


Watch APRIL 08 Critical Mass !


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A few kind words about the spider... letter from Stewartstown, PA.

This is Jeff Burk that use to be in Stewartstown, PA. Years ago you came and played our shitty small town to a small group a kids that could not have been happier. It was organized by myself and my girlfriend Angie Molinar. We we're just two teenagers and we had organized a day long benefit music festival for an AIDs charity.
It has been about six years (I think) since then. Angie and I are still together and that day was a defining moment in our lives. Since then we have both gotten highly involved in political organizing and activism. I have become highly involved in the anti-war movement and was the president of a peace activism organization in our new home of Indiana, PA. I am also pursuing a career in writing. Angie works with labor organizing and is pursuing a graduate degree to fulfill her dream of becoming a professor.
When we heard Zak died we were both crushed. As long as I live I will never forget him shouting out on stage at our concert. Everyone who was there that day still talks about his performance and the poem he wrote especially for the event about getting stuck and lost on the way.
That concert also had an impact on the community. Every year since then, the local high-schoolers have held a day long benefit concert for a AIDs charity. Angie and myself had nothing to do with anything but the first one. The local youth community needed something like that so badly that it automatically sprang into a life of its own.
That day I bought a tape and a vhs from you and a poster of Zak that has always hung next to me by my desk. As I type this both flyers we made for that show hang in front of me. Since then I have gotten almost all of your releases (poverty can be a bitch for music purchases) and have played Team Spider to too many people to count. Everyone from hippies and metal heads have come away with a big smile.
I just thought you might like to know the impact that Team Spider had on myself, Angie and Stewartstown for performing that day. That event taught Angie and myself that we were capable of doing anything. Everyday since then has been spent pursuing our dreams. Many people and bands helped make the show a success but you were our favorite band at the time. Everyone who was there, even the other bands, sight the highlight as your performance.
When I read a mention of the Stewartstown show in the NY Times obit I was touched. I wished I had written all of this sooner, that Zak could know this. Better later then never.
Thank you for the impact Team Spider made on so many people.


yo... thanks Jeff, been feelin' down this weekend for some reason.. this really means a lot. XRIS

SUMMER @))* !!!

Tompkins Square Punk RETTURNS!!

AUG. 2nd and 3rd 2008

The 20th anniversary of the Tompkins Sq. (police) riot...

live music, films, more

Village Voice Article on Permit Strugglefor mo

Villager Article on Park Show Permitsre info visit Sliding Scale Productions

we've had quite a fig

So... Punk Rock has lost another cool elder...
Hilly Kristal, the man who thought he opened a "Country Blue Grass & Blues bar",

& ended up becoming the caretaker to a generation of freaks, rejects, and geniuses, has passed away... ;-(
His only requirement for those wierdos, soon to be dubbed 'Punks'... was that they play "originals".
Well, here's an original... Written by ZAK,
performed by Team Spider:
"Hilly Thanks New York, New York Thanks Hilly....."----Rest in Peace friend...
--------Xris / TS



#########################################NEWZ u CAN USE#########################################

4/2007 - TEAM SPIDER in the Studio, recording a new record....

-Sneak Peak- at the track listing:

Fuck Brakes
My Life, Your Rights
We own the streets
Taken Apart
Sum May Say
Father Tells Me
Critical Mass

sneakier peak at the painful recording process

##################More NEWZ##################

TEAM SPIDER heading to the U.K.

summer 007, our first euro-tour... U have hook ups for England, Ireland, Holland shows/crashpads???: Hook us up!

##################More NEWZ##################


where YOU can watch VIDEOS


best part- you !SUBSCRIBE! and it tells you every time we post a new VID...


###############################More NEWZ#############################

The new Team Spider 7 inch Vinyl comin out SOON!!!!

(we're too broke to put it out,,,, you wanna release it? CONTACT US

Hear the New Tracks / Final Mixes Here : MUSIC


============NOTE * we are Sold Out of the NO CA$H/TEAM SPIDER SPLITS... so please don't order them!!==========


########RECENT NEWS/PRESS########

GOOD NEWS: Asst. Chief of Police BRUCE SMOLKA, HAS RETIRED !!!! Who was HE?

>the main architect of the crackdown on NYC CRITICAL MASS BIKE RIDES,

> head of the "task" force that fired the 41 shots fired into Amadou Diallo

> famed for "ripping women off their bikes and arresting them"

> the Subject of the Team Spider underground hit SONG: "The Smolka Polka"

in honor of this happy day, Xris and Christopher, built Chiefy this bike, THE SMOLKA CRUISER

which was presented to him at the Lucky 13th Precinct


clik to HERE read newspaper article on THE Smolka Cruiser



======================= TO ALL FRIENDS OF ZAK===================

The sad news is true,
ZAK has passed away…
On DEC 13th, at approx. 6:30 PM
Joseph Bernard Zak passed away at the St. Lukes hospital in his hometown of New York City.
He was 80 years old.

Widely regarded as the oldest punk rocker ever, he often preferred the title:
“Most Prolific Songwriter in the History of the World”.
And believe it or not, that statement was most likely not an exaggeration. Zak wrote approximately 30,000 – 40,000 original song lyrics. The exact number may be never known. Even those of us in his punk rock band, TEAM SPIDER lost track after he copyrighted the first 20,000 or so. Collected in his aptly titled “ZAK OPUS”. Being Team Spider’s vocalist and guitarist, I recently found myself having to haul over 40 boxes of lyrics out of ZAK’s old apartment. If asked how many songs were in there, I can only describe the quantity as somewhere between “back breaking,” and “spine crushing.”
The exact details of ZAK’s life were always a bit of a mystery. Even to those of us closest to him. What we do know is that baby Zak was born in 1926, somewhere in upstate New York, near Albany. He never knew his parents and appears to have been primarily raised by Franciscan priests. Zak thought the way of the cloth would be the way for him, and he studied feverishly to become a priest himself. Along the way he became an expert on religious texts and several languages, including the original Latin language in which the Christian Brothers’ documents were written and how they were read during mass
It was ultimately his sharp tounge and knowledge of Latin that got him expelled from the brotherhood, just shy of taking his final vows. Towards the end of his endoctranation, Zak was leading a mass alongside a high ranking priest. Rather than recite the texts he knew so well, he broke from script, saying “beware of wolves in sheep’s clothing” while motioning to the exhaulted priest. A move lost on most of the parishioners listening to the Latin language Mass, but an act of defiance not lost on the target of his remarks, or his superiors.
As Zak recalls, he was given a 24 hours to “get out of town.”
So, without many choices, Zak ended up in the Navy, serving in the Pacific during World War 2. Although he was concerned he may never return from sea, Zak observed that “The good lord apparently had other plans for me.”
Those plans were for Zak to become a teacher and mentor at a home for delinquent boys. Zak identified with the young troublemakers and spent his days and nights trying to help guide and be a friend to those who needed one. He made it his daily mission to steer these young men in positive directions despite the tough hands they may have been dealt. Because with WW2 having ended, the nation’s prosperity seemed just on the horizon.
During his 13 years of shaping young men’s hearts and minds, Zak had been composing musical lyrics. Eventually he felt it was time leave the boy’s home and head to Nashville to try his hand as a professional lyricist. In his spare time, he composed over 200 biographical lyrics about a young man named Elvis Presley, whom Zak thought to be an “amazing talent , with a great future.” Although Zak’s lyrics were received well by the scores of Nashville musicians, no one could figure out how to commercially produce a piece, that appeared to be about as lengthy as the King’s life thus far.
Undaunted, Zak continued writing lyrics, passing them to every Nashville based or travelling performer that caught his eye. Even composing lyrics for U.S. Presidents, whether they requested “official national songs” or not. Then one night, a raging fire took Zak’s Nashville home, and with it, all of his lyrics. He decided “the good lord wanted me out of Nashville.”
Armed only with his wit, and a new found distaste for unattended candles, he headed to the town whose official lyric forever challenges: “If-you-can–make-it-there…” New York City.
To support his fervent lyric writing, Zak took, as he described them, many “odd” jobs. The more time they left for writing, the better. He ended up finding himself w/ several security and night watchmen jobs. Due to his honorable ways and strong work ethic, Zak was often promoted to a Commander or Captain level. Unfortunately for the security biz, Zak had little interest in climbing rank and viewed it all just as a means to support his writing. At one point, in true early punk D.I.Y. spirit, he even formed his own small record label, releasing a vinyl run of a song he composed, and that he thought should see the light of day. Fortunately it did sell, but being not attached to material items, Zak sold every single copy and none of records from the pressing seem to be in active circulation today. Although his band mates and fans still flip through the old vinyl bins hoping one day to find a original Zak Records release.
Some time in his 50’s, Zak landed a job as a doorman for a fancy hotel. Some might have said it appeared to be a step down from his previous jobs, where he was the supervisor of scores of men. But Zak, being an independent spirit, preferred the solitary duties and responsibilities of a doorman. Plus, the job came with a perk, staff housing for the length of his entire life. So Zak packed up and moved into the Empire Hotel on Columbus circle, right across from the Metropolitan Opera and the Julliard School of music. For years he worked his doorman duties, cheerfully greeting guests of the city, while keeping guard against the unsavory types that he was so skilled at unveiling. Zak often crafted custom poems and lyrics for the travelers whom he would come to meet during their New York stays.
He found much time to focus on his beloved work, deep within the world of words.
In his off time, Zak spent countless hours at the Julliard library, translating ancient plays from Greek, Latin, or any of the other languages he spoke fluently, to his native English. All in the hope that the works would be able to reach a new and wider audience. During this time he could often be found befriending and amusing the talented Julliard music students who, thinking they would head to the library to finish some work, often found themselves leaving with the knowledge that they had much more work to do. Sometimes, that work consisting of direct assignments from Zak.
Zak eventually collaborated with a professor/composer at Julliard on a piece that was performed at the end of the year for the entire school. Again, all copies of this “lyrical symphony” appear to be lost to time, due to Zak’s lack of material possessions, but what a night it must have been.Upon reaching retirement age, Zak settled into his private room at the Empire Hotel for possibly his most creative period yet. Each day he busied himself writing, re-writing, photocopying, and then copywriting, his lyrics. Each month he would send his packets, each often containing hundreds of lyrics, to the Library of Congress.
It was during one of his many trips to a local “mom and pop” photo copy shop near the Empire Hotel that Zak would meet his long time collaborator: Xris Spider, aka, me. My best friend Les and I were in that fateful photocopy shop using a machine that printed small quantities of professional looking business cards, for as little as 5 dollars. This was very handy for the many cons that a young Xris and Les had crafted during their down and out days in a basement squat on the Lower East Side. During a different period of his life, Zak may have protected himself and others from these apparent ruffians. Maybe it was his earliest days as a “teacher of delinquent boys” that attracted Zak to these desheveled 20 somethings, or maybe it was the guitars on their backs. Quite possibly it was the smilely face logo that stated “jesus loves you” printed on the business cards that were spewing into their hands from the machine. How was Zak to know that the logo was used in jest, and the cards were in fact being used to promote the new timeslot for their irreverent public access show? A necessary promotion after being kicked out of their previous timeslot for “Sabatoging other people’s shows.” Most famously, an alleged psychic advisor who would broadcast live from the neighboring studio at the same time as Team Spider’s live broadcasts.
Well, whatever it was that inspired Zak, soon he was telling them that they “look like they need a lyricist!” And, that he was just the man for the job.
Now, young Xris and Les, were quite used to dealing with lunatics, and thought Zak seemed like a harmless enough character. They assumed Zak was probably just an old man ranting about whatever popped up in his senile mind. They may have been right about the lunacy, and most definitely the ranting, but they were wrong about the harmlessness and/or senility. Zak had a razor sharp wit, and extensive knowledge of politics, religion, and human relations, all filtered through the wisdom of his years.
The “New York City Phone Book” size stack of lyrics the photocopy clerk handed back to Zak, showed he was anything but faking being a prolific lyricist.
So, a youthful version of myself, handed Zak the first of the business cards that had come out of the machine, and said “if you want to perform some lyrics with us, come to the Manhattan Cable Building on this day and time. Our band is called Team Spider, we do a lot of strange stuff and perform live music on TV, you can do something if you like.”
Satisfied, Zak headed off, and the young Xris and Les assumed, that was probably the last they’d ever see of the crazy old lyricist.
They were wrong.
Zak showed up on the night described, lyric packet in hands, ready to “Jump in.”
Which may explain why I, thumbing through Zak’s pages, pulled out a song entitled,”Jump on the lyric.”
- if you want to sing a beautiful sound,
- come join the music
If you want to swing a beautiful sound,
come join the music
Jump, Jump, Jump on the lyric
Join, Join, come Join the music.
Curiously, the lo tech Atari 2600 video game images that the band projected behind themselves during musical segments, came in right on cue showing footage of a game called Q-Bert. The game features a furry little character who really does nothing more than just “jump jump jump” around. It all came together poetically.
Of course, once again, Xris and Les assumed this might be the last they’d see of the old man. But Zak showed up for the next show, and the next show, and every show after. Whenever Team Spider had a concert, whether it was a dirty illegal squat, a urine stained punk club like CBGB’s, or even a warehouse party miles out of state, Zak would show up, with a fresh batch of lyrics each time.
Zak would cram in vans with squatter punks, scrunch in the back of our “Smashed on every side” VW Golf hatchback. He would even fly on a jet plane if the gig was far enough away. Which was something noteworthy in that Zak had never flown before in his life, save for a 10 minute crop duster ride he paid a nickel for in the 1930’s. After which he had decided “That was enough for me.” But for Team Spider, he entered the world of jet travel, climbing aboard his first airliner at close to the age of 80.
Kids, punks, poets, and radical personalities of all sorts began to expect and look forward to seeing Zak perform at just about every event they could imagine. It did not matter whether Zak was officially on the bill or not. He would usually take the stage, and start some lyric, often ending in a chant–like version of his latest creation. He would then be seen exiting the stage w/ a huge smile on his face, leaving in his dust the event organizers who has no idea what had just happened, or why every one in the audience would not stop chanting “ZAK ZAK ZAK!”
Now myself, being a bit of a documentarian, was rarely seen without some dumpster retrieved video camera rolling away on all of the shenanigans. With VHS becoming replaced by High 8, then Mini DV, and DVD standards. I had a seemingly limitless source of big old cameras, and raw tape stock gathered by myself, Zak, and other Team Spider members who would frequently find boxes of VHS tapes outside of video stores, adult boutiques, or just in the common trash.
The results were aired each week on our public access show, aptly titled VHS or LESS. The show, pre-dating so called “reality” television, and challenged the bloated formulaic world of commercial TV. The basic concept? That Zak and Team Spider’s reality was more creative and interesting then the best fiction that the television industry could apparently imagine. VHS OR LESS was also a pre-cursor to a formula later made famous by the MTV show JACKASS. TSTV usually showcased many insane, often illegal, stunts and schemes. But with out the protection of a major network like MTV, the episodes often ended with Zak and company fleeing from, or clashing with, or being arrested by the New York City Police. Eventually, after successfully irritating and alienating enough of the cable access building’s newest batch of administrators, TSTV was sentenced to a 3am Monday morning timeslot. Refusing to take it in stride, Zak and company secretly turned the show into “Team Spider Television”. Under the new name, the gang would, as we put it, squat the prime time airwaves, where we were clearly not wanted. By changing the title, producer name, and now exclusively using home rigged video editing equipment, we were able to once again get the staggering output of lyrics and music back on the air, to a wide audience, without ever slowing down.
So Zak, without a record label or any traditional means of distribution, releasing only on the spit and glue label they called Team Spider Records, and had several underground hit songs. Ranging from his “So-un-punk, that its punk again”, love song “Know that I love You”…
No matter that all lyrics stall
Know that this is true
It matters that love’s epic is true
Know that I love you, know that I love youto his infectious anti-Bush anthem “BUSH BUSH BUSH.” Which never failed to have people chanting along at every show…
The above Bush ditty, which Zak had originally titled “Bomb the Constitution”, was written in a not so distant past, when criticizing the President was more likely to score you a fist fight and/or a boycott of your records, than a record deal.
Zak also kept his ear to the local ground penning lyrics about New York City’s crack down on Right To Assembly. Most clearly evidenced by Mayor Bloomberg’s arrest of over 200 bicyclists during the Republican National Convention.
Mayor Mike Bloomberg Hates Bikes
Rogue Cops Support Him
Mayor Mike Bloomberg Hates Bikes
Bikers Report Them
The judge has given the Okay
The Judge has Spoken
So make way
Mike Bloomberg Hates Bikes!
Zak understood the wider implications of the city’s actions. That the cyclists, who gathered monthly to promote safety and recognition, were facing a danger not limited to just the cell phone talking SUV drivers. They were also victims of an attack allowed by the sleep walking politicians who were busy signing away the rights and privacies that Zak had valued for his entire life.
My Life, Your Rights
They slowly drift away
(listen to )>>>
For all of his public visibility, Zak also enjoyed thoroughly his privacy. Rarely discussing old relationships or why he never chose to marry. He lived in the Empire Hotel for 10 years with out ever letting one of his bandmates up to see his room. Not a single member, not even once. “It’s a mess” Zak’d say. “Ahhh, why do you want to go up there?” Leaving us to wait for him outside, or to sneak in to the downstairs Iridium bar where his fellow cool old guy Les Paul, pushing 80 himself, held a weekly jam with visiting rockers. What was hooked up to the Hotel Empire’s water supply, the fountain of youth? Our stealth skills would have to be utilized, as we’d put our guitars on our backs and sneak past the 20 dollar door fee by saying we were here to “Jam with Les.” Really waiting for Zak to wash up and bring down his latest lyrics before we all headed down to the Lower East Side.
The last time I saw Zak was just a few days before his passing. After rushing around on my bicycle to drop off the latest episode of our cable show at the MNN building, I headed up for an unexpected visit to the Kateri Assisted Living Faciltiy on 87th street. The friendly enough place that had Zak called home for the last 5 months. My visit happened by chance to be the same day that an a’capella girl-group had arrived to perform for the seniors. The young ladies sang Christmas songs in a style popularized by the Andrews Sister back during World War Two USO tours. Within minutes, Zak was a 5th member of the singing quartet, giving the much needed deep baritone echo of “Silver Bells” after each time the ladies sang the chorus. He was as loud as the four ladies put together.
The residents and singers alike had wide grins and shared much laughter as Zak worked himself into every song they put out there. He was a master stealth artist, and he his skills clearly hadn’t dulled with confinement.
Uncharacteristically, I did not have my video camera. And I now realize that I and that group of seniors had unknowingly witnessed Zak’s final live performance.
After the dinner show we headed back to Zak’s room, but not before dropping some smuggled cookies to one of his bed ridden neighbors, ( Zak appeared to be the ring master some elaborate stolen cookie ring which I never fully grasped the complexities of ). Zak was tired. Just before the impromptu cafeteria concert, he and I had spent the afternoon recording some new tunes. Although it was a rare luxury for me to own, nor less carry around a fancy new piece of equipment, I had brought my new laptop computer with me. Our traditional “by-any-means-necessary” approach led us to use the build in keyboard microphone as an impromptu vocal mic, allowing us to immediately record the unplanned, freshly conceived , secret hits. The results? Lo fidelity, but sonically interesting, and most importantly; satisfying to Zak. Zak also penned a birthday lyric on a card for Team Spider guitarist $am, who, in possibly the widest age gap in any band’s history, was turning 21 that night.
Although Zak quickly feel asleep, I decided I wasn’t leaving without giving Zak a copy of the newly recorded songs. I stayed, mixing the new tunes, until it was pitch dark outside. Eventually I was able to burn them to a CD for him to listen to in his bedside boom box. That boom box was his single worldly possession, If you din not count his single set of clothes, yellow tablet and a pen. The boom box was much appreciated, collective gift from the entire band. People often would ask if Zak had any family. To which I always replied “Besides us?” I think Zak was the most frequently visited resident of the entire Kateri Facility. He most certainly had the widest age range of friends.
So, not wanting to wake him, I left a note taped to the railing on his bed that excitedly stated: “Zak, 4 new songs! In the CD player. Push play!”
One of the final lyrics he recorded, was the aptly titled: PULLING TEETH
It’s like pulling teeth
Awake or asleep
For a song we can keep
Where can I find inspiration
To write a new song
Where can I find inspiration
It’s gone too long
It’s like pulling teeth
Eeee- Yow
Eeee- Yooooowwww

Just before heading out, I took, unbeknownst to me, my last look at Zak. Sleeping soundly, famously toothless, looking like a new born baby under his blankets. I exited into the night, unprepared for the cold weather that arrived during the creatively productive hours spent in the Kateri House.
Cursing the cold wind as it cut right through my minimal layers of a T-shirt and a leather jacket, I bicycled past the ghost bikes erected for cyclists killed on the sanctuary known as the West Side bike path. I did not know that just the night before, a 22 year old cyclist was mowed down on the bike path by a drunk driver. A driver who had driven the isolated and concrete walled bike lane for nearly a mile before finding a victim. Another flower covered, white, ghost bike memorial would be arriving shortly.
So, we can take solace that Zak most definitely lived a long, long, and productive life. 80 amazing years. Never securing a record deal or any commercial success as measured by mainstream standards. A fulfilling, and abundant life nonetheless. And now, thanks largely to our world wide Web known as the Internet, a whole new generation of fans are finding inspiration in his punk rock words, wisdom, and ways.
Children today are born into a world where creative outlets and distribution may be limited only by their imagination and creativity. Just as Zak personally inspired all those he met in life, his memory can act as an inspiration to all the future, untamed, prolific spirits as they venture into territories unknown and wholly uncharted. Zak’s tale will most certainly be galvanizing to the people whom society deems too old to live their dreams. He may be particularly emboldening to bands and lyricists who think that although the things they wish to say may not be popular, they are still worth saying. But ultimately, his life can inspire all people. Whether it be artists working in music, film, video, and other future media forms, or maybe just someone who’s looking to make some new friends, Zak’s example can speak volumes to them. All they while simply stating, that perhaps rather than conforming to existing roles, outlets, and ideas, maybe it’s time to create some entirely new ones.
“Remember, I’ll be there for you!” -Joseph Bernard Zak.*

*The most prolific lyricist of all time.------------------------------------------------------------written by Christopher J. Ryan
aka Xris Spider



---------OLDER NEWS-------------------


NEWS: ZAK has his own MYSPACE page !!! ====10/5/06

everyone now has a place to send their personal messages to ZAK. ( also reachable thru our *TOP 8* at

We will hook ZAK up w/ access so he can see all, and even respond to some!!!

thanks to all the well wishers as Zak adjusts to his new RETIREMENT castle, and fights the powers that be

as they try to force him into "BINGO" and "HAPPY FEET" (?) activities....

NEWS: TEAM MISFITS invades MYSPACE ===10/31/06

for a limited time we will offering FREE DOWNLOADS of your favorite TEAM MISFITS HITS FROM HELL,,, recorded by candelight on

Halloween Night, only to have entire system crash before properly backed up.. so these rough board mixes are all you'll ever get!

RARE, but Bloody Cool, Download and add em now!... TEAM MISFTS will return to the Grave after the Hallows Eve.


NEWS: BILL CLINTON attacks XRIS for photo opportunity.=== 10/30/06

Despite Xris' attempts to lay low at a recent Stones concert he was stealthing in ( past secret service none the less )

Xris was singled out, rapidly approached, and sucked into a photo-op by / with BILL CLINTON.

This pic was snapped by Xris' friend, another "OFFICIAL" photo, w/ classic "meeting the prez" pose, ( and Xris giving the "Dio horns" )

was snapped by Clinton's Personal Photographer... we are trying to track down that photo as well.

described by XRIS as "First SCARY.. then SURREAL, now just CONFUSING..." the former Prez appeared slightly drunk, but very charasmatic and nice

NEWS: BRAD WILL, long time friend and collaborator MURDERED by Mexican Police... ===10/29/06

still getting all the facts, (more info available at We are overwhelmed right now, Brad, an amazing person, videographer, and friend was

gunned down in MEXICO last friday,, his crime : videotaping a demonstration.

* historic note* Brad was actually the person

who inspired / encouraged Xris to start doing live Public Access TV. When the Fifth Street Squat caught fire ( almost 10 years ago )

and the building was scheduled to be demolished,( despite a Judge's Stop Order)..... rather than just taking it to

the STREETS, they took it to the SCREENS ( television screens) ... IMMEDIATELY! not in a flashy Doc. 3 years late....instead... LIVE, NOW, RAW on TV

by the people, for the people..... sadly 5th street squat was ultimately wrecking balled, ( even after BRAD's infamous direct action)...

to much too get into! will get nostalgic later... BRAD.. you will be missed! check for memorial bike ride info.

WATCH a VIDEO of Tribute / Protest at Mexican Embassy... WATCH Brad's final video, doing what he loved

WATCH Brad sing "I really like the Cops" ( 2nd song in video) and see the production value gradually rise!!!


NEWS: LADYBUG arrested en route to gig...====9/13/06

her "CRIME": riding a bike, her "CHARGE": interfering w/ a drug bust...

luckily DaV Spider Was in crowd and filled in on bass Duties... will keep you posted on what happens in


NEWS: TEAM SPIDER closes out CBGB's... one last gig, with our friend's MISCHIEF BREW =====9/11/06

read full account at the Blog.... at myspace and at blogspot



NEW SONGS: presented in -Cassette Cöre- ** MY LIFE/ YOUR RIGHTS ** ANNE FRANK HOUSE ** IN PARIS **

** I DONT WANT TO HURT YOU <DRUNK version> **< ACOUSTIC (also drunk) version> * * Everybody Loves Something **

LYRICS TO THE NEW TUNESmore music..... misc. lyrics LISTEN while you LEARN



this week on TEAMSPIDER TELEVISION: The Superbowl of Hardcore Special, (airs Wed april 19th, NYC )

featuring PART ONE, of an hour long interview with JIMMY G. of Murphy's Law,

( Superbowl of Hardcore: Sunday April 23rd, @ SPIRIT, NYC feat. Murphys Law, Underdog, Killing Time ++++)

+ Zak's new song "John Dolan, Take your Lumps!"


click here to watch "TRUE STORY" DOC on Zak 'n Team Spider

20,000 Views Last Week, You Tube's: "MOST WATCHED VIDEO"

DONATE to ZAK! he's looking for 10 bucks, from you. Do it, for info

ALSO: BUY the BUSH BUSH BUSH enhanced Cd,

Contains the Hit "BUSH BUSH BUSH" single + 6 tracks NOT available anywhere else,

also includes... 3 VIDEOS,,,, GET IT NOW at INTERPUNK <<<<<CLICK<<<HERE<<<

========== UPDATE!!!--3-17-06 sadly, Zak is back in Hospital============

but... it does bring a cool, heartfelt opportunity to.....

be on - ZAK's IPOD!!!

i am going to give my iPOD SHUFFLE to ZAK, ---"loaded", with songs he likes, but more importantly:



...............................................* not to scale

just make a file, any format, and email it to: ZAPZAK ( ((@))))

--here's a song, to get your ideas goin':) KNOW THAT I LOVE YOU - by Zak

it can be 10 seconds, or it can be a LONG poem you either wrote, or just love enough to read to him, whatever u want !

most computers have a built in mic, so it should not be hard to pull off, and it will much appreciated...

***if its a big file, also send us a text email so we can confirm we got the file and it didnt *bounce*

thanks, xris/team spider

**Why ZAK is in Hospital: He went in for a check up, and they put him in I.C.U. !!!

He seems to be doing well, they have moved him into the cardiac unit

and hopefully he will be in PHYSICAL THERAPY this week,'

you can send an email to : zapzak ( a.t.)



other news:

filmmaker imprisoned in China

free our fellow doc. filmmaker, punk loafer



check us out at interpunk, myspace, blogger, and your sister's closet.


------------Happy Valentines-Day-------

----note** ZAK IS BACK HOME!!!---

--see info how you can hook ZAK up w/ VHS movies



thanks to all who ordered em and helped tsp-911 happen

We have a couple extra CRACKTOBER Riot DVD's and TSP 9-11 T-SHIRTS

that we will sell off here (, maybe at http// ... but only 100 were made,

so if you want one of these very LTD. edition items, get em quick... ( TSP shirts avail. again, see below)



12-31-05... a great time, The Mad Conductor had his record release, sort of a rude beastie boy / like emimen if he wasnt black,

TS kicked some ass with old school spydrrr: DAVE filling in on BASS! as Ladybug was lost in work/traffic/delusions...

THANKS DAVE !!! you rock

ZAK literally "phoning in" a heartfelt rendition of KNOW THAT I LOVE YOU, a masked Xris terrorizing the audience,

and L.O.C. feat. Ezra kicking Ass on guitar and B.U. Vox.... Great show, great venue, lets hope 4 many more at THE HOOK, a wild / tolerant place

the owner Pleasantly recalled last time we played there, -july4th2005- when the police showed up, just in time to be passed on the street

by a completely nude bike messenger who dove off his bike to tackle someone in a full pink bunny suit...

the police approached the naked man pummelling the off duty energizer icon, 'till they looked at Dave, the owner of the HOOK,

who just shrugged and waved them off... like he had it under control....

so... the police got back in their car, and were seen laughing as they exited the illegally blocked intersection.....



12-28-05 honor of the birth of your lord jesus christ / excessive partying / travelling / sleeping...

TEAM SPIDER combined their laxidaisy ( spelling? ) practice schedule w/ their drunken TV schedule=== and had their practice,

live ON AIR, from the 59th street MNN buidling.... in a brilliant display of multitasking, over extending, promoting, drinking, stressing,

answering phones and breaking bones, the TS posse, including a sick LADYBUG , rocked out songs by request, pieced together a set list,

communicated w/ retards, and even did a hi-tech ZAK collaboration from the hospital... a good time. *thanks to $am's mom for loaning us

her van, and watching TEAM AMERICA w/ us afterwards ( including the fecal sex scene which i doubt Mrs. Cleaver would've made it thru. )

***more posts at our new BLOG****


a holiday special on TEAM SPIDER TELEVISION

CHOKING VICTIM will be appearing live on Manahattan cable
WED, DEC 14th, 11:30 pm, ch 57
they will be performing SONGS and fielding PHONE CALLS, please have a comment and or

question PREPARED and get to it quickly, we are on a TIGHT schedule.

WAtcH Cv VideOs from the Show

(at out new videoblog)*... HERE

. *SUBSCRIBE !!!!!!!!!!!! to the tstv video blog and immediately know when a new video is posted... cool


======================================UPCOMING-- EVENTs:=======================================

==========================================---DEC 28th----- 10:30 pm,=====================================


========================================----DEC 31st 2005---3pm sharp---=====================================

T.S. live in Red Hook--NEW YEARS EVE (matinee)


doors at 3,
the show will start on time
the hook lists times as
-3:15 Mad conductor
-3:30 Team spider
-4:30 Planned collapse
-5:50 Leftover crack

where : THE HOOK, Brooklyn ****matinee show****---doors 3pm -shows over at 6pm

so be on time, THE HOOK VENUE: INFO



available on RED shirt, or ARMY GREEN

cost: $9.11 plus 2 bucks shipping n handjob

THE TSPshirtPay Pal buttons didnt work, and since we suck at allowing you to give us your hard stolen ca$h, one crafty fan figured out how

to get us money... whether we want it or not...

FROM: NICK, : hey, thanks for getting back to me, yeah i wanted a small army green tsp 9/11 shirt.
the way i did it was i just went into my own paypal account and clicked on "Send Money"

then typed in the email of the person im sending it to ( c h r i s ( at) team spider . com ) , and just filled out what it asks

(money amount, type of currency, what its for..etc) then "continue"...then yeah its pretty much self explanatory from there..hope that helps
thanks again for helping me out, i emailed xris once about it but he never replied back...but yeah thanks again
take care,

***from XRIS: sorry Nick,, get behind on these email thingys, sendin you a free cd for being a crafty lil fuk, welcome to TS, no escape

international orders.. please add 3 bucks

questions..? hit S A M @ T E A M S P i D E R . C O M **

sendin $ thru paypal: hit c h r is (at) t eam "u know what...." . cum at the pay pal site



---------------------more shows just added--!!!--TS@C-SQUAT: Nov. 5th, and



check our spankin' newTEAM SPIDER MY-SPACE ACCOUNT !!!

-----------------NOW WE ARE ON INTERPUNK: -----------------" aight



ZAK in hospital.


sadly zak is forced to spend this THANKSGIVING HOLIDAY in the hospital. He was in the hospital last weekend ( nov 20th) to have minor

surgery to rewire his pacemaker,,, they discharged him the next day, after less than 24hours at home, he fell and couldn't get up,

Zak eventually managed to call 911, and is back in hospital for observation.

We are bringing ZAk a homecooked Thanksgiving Meal- as cooked by our neighbor SQUEEZE. ( thanks Squeeze)

****again, you can WISH ZAK WELL on the FORUM and we will print all your messages out for him


TEEN Spider no more...

$am is the final spydr to bust out of teen deliquency. As of friday ( dec 2nd )...

$am is 20 years old. old enough to stink, not old enuff to drink--wish him a happy one



I rushed up to drop off our thanksgiving "SUE THE INDIANS" episode, pulling up on my bike at 3:59pm ( 32 seconds to spare ), & something

seemed different. The front door was covered with BUILDING INSPECTOR notices, these notices are usually seen on Squats, not 4 year-old new

construction multimillion dollar cable facillities, but apparently the building adjacent to MNN collapsed, and they are afraid to let people in to MNN.

we'll see whats up w/ this months live Call In epsiode ( to air nov 30th)



it is coming along, at least 90% done, trying to squeeze as much as we can on to the dvd, just acquired STILL PHOTOS that

help complete the story since so much of post-show madness happened under the cover of darkness

skipping thanksgiving with the family to work full time on it this weekend

will start posting some complete songs on the blogspot account to tide over people who have been waiting

!!thanks for patience!!! X.


CITY HALL PUNK" CRACKTOBER was a smashing success,

culminating w/ ZAk smashing to the earth.

Somehow ZAK lost his footing and fell backwards over an amp and off the back of the stage during the first to last song of the night
(sadly the final unperformed song was Zak's anthem to the world: "KNOW THAT I LOVE YOU".)
Strangely ZAK took his spill during " LILLY's TREAT", right after the final lyric, "neighborhood got good, and the good, it went away..."

then Zak disappeared.

somehow he landed, with his head closer to the stage then his feet, which i assume means he did some jackie chan style flip.

everyone rushed to his aid. he was bleeding from his head, but it turned out to be a minor cut that did not even require stitches.

Paramedics came, took Zak to a hospital and they did a Cat Scan and everything in Zak's noggin looked fine.
the hospital discharged him a couple minutes ago,

and Courtney ( who performed the Falum Gong / China persecution songs ) is spending the night with Zak at his place ( Zak you dog ) just in case he needs anything.
that prety much sums up the entire day. a lot of pitching in, looking out for each other, good food, free pot, good politics, good music, and suitably bad people. on a great 'Go old people' final note , with all of the chaos of Operation: Save Zak-ty Dump-ty, we were VERY late returning the stage and generator. in both cases people stuck around, un-paid, to let us in late. At the stage rental place, it was a 70 year old guy working the freight elevator who slipped us in after hours. amazing. if we all can stay that cool, that long, the world could be a cooler place.

++++++++++++++++WISH ZAK WELL ON THE FORUM+++++++++++++
please respond / post here if you want to say hi, wish zak well, send a thought, whatever...
we will print and bring to him since he has no internet, and a computer made in the 70's.


-----------------HALLOWEEN CONCERT!!! -----------------
----------------feat. TEAM SPIDER (plugged!), COTTON & the CHORE BOYS (raw!)--------------
-------------------------STZA (un-plugged!)--- DAVID PEEL,--- COURTNEY DOWE ... plus-------------------
--------------super special appearance by TEAM MISFITS, featuring, BOBBY STEELE of the original Misfits,--------
----------------also... -9/11 Conspiracy Detectives, Hemp Activists, & People off their meds----
---------ON THE STEPS OF CITY HALL !!!!!!!!! Monday Oct. 31st 2-6pm, ---------
------------CITY HALL PARK: (Broadway @Park Row),--!!!FREE!!!



it's CRACKTOBER! October? that can't be right.

((((((want to join email list--? info at bottom of this page)))))))))


===on WED. OCTOBER 26th 2005:==
TEAM SPIDER TV is proud to welcome
*******COTTON and The CHORE BOYS*******...
featuring members of Choking Victim (and just about every other band that calls C-squat home...)
COTTON and Co. will drag their Washtub basses out of the house and up to the
MNN TV studios to help welcome Team Spider back from the depths of TV Studio Banishment.
<<<<to find out why the team was banned for the last 3 months from using the MNN facitlites, visit >>>>
****those in new york shitty can watch the event on their tele's at 11:30 pm, Channel 57
*******those with hi-speed internet can watch at <<ch 57 icon>> at 11:30pm
(*note: anyone can call in and bug us live on the air)
****those w/ "no TV, Phone, Friends" will be able to see it posted at our new amazing video hosting site.. ( go their now to see Choking Victim video, and Riot! trailer ) much more to posted there over next few weeks it'll blow yer mind....


yes, we have new video hosting!

where we will host our AMAZING VIDEOS, constantly put new ones... and coolest of all:
you can SUBSCRIBE FOR FREE and be informed whenever we put a new one up.





lots more photos comin' in, but for now,,, heres the FIRST PICS FROM TSP-911 show,: .....................taken by $am's mom


Yo, TSP-911 was awesome, thanks to all for making it happen,

special thanks to Garrett from York, Pa. for hauling water to the show (putting the whitehouse / national guard to shame)

Robbie n Lara for making the shirts (we will put some x-tras 4-sale on the site..feat:' Dubya n Jenna' showin their love 4 satan)

thanks to all the bands, gear sharers, clean up volunteers, people who pre-ordered the RIOT! DVD, and anyone

we are forgetting... in the words of Ozzy: "WE LOVE ALLLLL"( We're GONNA DO... PAARRRRRAAANOID!)"

Comin soon: HALLOWEEN on the steps of City Hall, so keep supporting' by buyin' the RIOT DVD, xtra shirts etc...... X.

********this week's VILLAGE VOICE, declares what we already knew: ZAK IS THE MAN

just out:

CLIK HERE to see video explaining exactly why Zak is the Man.



CLICK HERE TO VIEW CHOKING VICTIM paying tribute to their Mom, Cyndi Lauper









coming soon, preorder now

(sorry for the delays, completely fucked by our "editor", who missed every deadline,

permanently fucked up our hard drive, & "lost" only copy of what she allegedly did

so... we started from scratch and they will be done ASAP, w/ some extra cool stuff )

feat. Team Spider, LoC, 2 Man Advantage, X-Possibles, the infamous after-show Police Riots, much more




$25 Donation(US)/$28 International Order

Donate US
Donate International


Your Donations help us put on the Outdoor Free Shows we all know and Love...

other way to support: ......GET the CRACKTOBER in AUGUST!2001 DVD

5 cameras, 8 bands, one love

feat. LoC, MDC, TS, INDK, much more

====click here for samples / order info!====

n honor of the Choking Victim Reunion... coming soon: a rare CV on TSTV clip...







I Don't want to hurt you




join the ++E-MAIL LIST+++ to be kept infrequently up to date on whats going on

zapzak( @ )

with "ADD TO EMAIL LIST " In subject,

if you THINK you are on the list... you are probably not... more shit to come...



=======acquire the Team Spider CD- Bush BUsh BUsh!!!! feat. 80 yr old ZAK on vocals! ( no shit)========

*available w/ Cracktober in August DVD, click here for special.

hear / see samples Here

Click Here to view recent events, including "A Very Stza Christmas", Naked Freewheels party, Xris' Bicycle Arrests, Team Misfits, and new Members.

Join Team Spider's surprisingly infrequent mailing list to learn about all the free concerts, TV specials, +>>>>


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